dear lexy,

ruriune asked: Where did you live before you came to Merlot's library?

Quite far away. It’s a long story, and I’d rather not talk about it. Not with you, anyway.

Anonymous asked: I have something that is certainly mundane and is certainly a problem, and as your 'ask' link suggests, I have come to you as I require the knowledge to fix said problem. I am finding it very difficult to get my hot water pressure up to an amount where I a.) do not shiver in the shower and b.) do not scold myself. This is a problem I have been facing for some time now and I was hoping that you maybe at least had enough knowledge to get me on my way to fixing this ever recurring nightmare.

Take baths.

latiass asked: Ahoy, matey, I was just wonderin'.. does yer librarary thinger have any books on how t' read? Yar har har.

As a matter of fact it does, but I’m sorry to say that granting you any comedic ability is beyond even me.

purplekecleon asked: dear lexy, why do you stay cooped in a library most of the time it sounds tremendously boring

Why do you stay cooped up outside a library most of the time? Sounds tremendously boring.

The soap opera plaguing Tao and mostly centered around yourself is not making a compelling case for extroversion.

andytheawesomedude asked: Andy: hey Lexy I know that your'e busy and all. But can I ask you something? you have like every information of every Pokemon in the world right? so how did you meet the Legendary Pokemon?

I never claimed to have met all the legendaries. Much of it has been distilled from myths and incidental references; no such source is particularly trustworthy, but if several sources all agree on a specific detail and I can be sure that none inspired the others, that detail is most likely true.

Anonymous asked: i've been scared by a story about a small place called Lavender Town, where there are cannibalistic pokemon. please reassure me.

Fear not; the ghosts only eat the livers of naughty little boys and girls.

Anonymous asked: What genre of music do you like? ... If you even like music, that is.

My favorite track is 4’33”. I often leave it playing continuously throughout the library.

Anonymous asked: Dear lexy, have you done any research on those strange instruments that keep turning up lately? They have rather peculiar effects like being able to control blizzards or the minds of certain pokemon even but can only be played by certain types of pokemon. Some people say they were made by god! I find that rather hard to believe. What are your thoughts on them? Surely there must be a more rational explanation on their inner workings than that.

Research? You could call it that, I suppose.

You’ll have to be more specific about “god”; I can think of at least a dozen species whose members have answered to the name.

pmd-team-chaos asked: Mister Lexy, I must really say that I'm impressed by your library, I have heard rumors of how big it was, and I must say they are quite true, this is a fantastic library, but let's go to what i came for. I wanna know if you have information about pokemon that are mentioned in legends, or just very weird pokemons(and of course, if I can read those books), and don't worry, you won't see me at all, so we will not bump into each other.

Much of what you’ll find in the library proper is mythological at worst and speculatory at best.

I, on the other hand, have made it a point of pride to collect at least some scrap of trivia about every Pokémon whose existence is known to me. Some of it even stems from unique personal experience, if that interests you.

You do have a library card, of course…?

narelith asked: Dear Lexy, may I please have one of your unused maid uniforms?

I possess no maid uniforms whatsoever, unused or otherwise.

awesomesonicbreaker asked: Yamato - Do you keep your library cards circulating? I ask because a library of this caliber would be a waste to leave empty, and I am fairly intrigued at what books such a place would hold.

How this is a continuing source of confusion eludes me. A library card is only required for borrowing my own works—works which I have gone to extraordinary lengths to assemble and which cannot easily be replaced. The rest of the library is open to all, as ordained by Her Majesty.

Anonymous asked: Oi, Lexy is it? What kind of a name is that! You some girly boy, huh? Lexy sure sounds like a girl's name to me; you maybe hiding something?

What cruel parents name their child “Anonymous”?